Monday, November 1, 2010

lost in technology...

All this has only made me more delusional. Lying on a bed 14,000 kms away from home, it suddenly struck me too. People have called this chill "the sinking feeling". Right when the lights were off and the laptop was out of my sight and I look up towards the ceiling. I have never been struck with this nostalgia before. Others have been palak paneer, lassi, indian supermarket in jersey city, paan waalah in Atlanta, B4U music + cricket talks with cricket fan, kashmir etc. But never before A ceiling. I know where it is coming from though. It is something I dazed towards until the I dozed off. May be few sleepless nights made it more dearer in period of time.

Now, there is something different about this nostalgia though. It's not the celebrations, it's not the memories of someone, it's not the love. It's purely me. Purely me who has lost touch with home place. Come to think about it many such nostalgic moments have been take care off by who .. wait ..

Communication technology! technology has made me delusional. It has helped me forget oh no not forget but shift my eyes off the glaring fact that I am 14,000 kms away from my home. It has lead me to believe that my mom's voice is not that far away, my friends chat wisdoms are not too distant, my cousins' leh venture is just a facebook away, my right there all the time. It has kept me away from home and still brought all the movies I wanted to watch right at my lap. It has still brought my cricket live to me. It has shown me those diyaas once already and is gonna happen again this Diwali.

So all this, though sounds praise worthy, is scary. I am sure it's not just me who feels this way. How can this new place in middle of nowhere be my new home? how can I just by voices, or decoded live digital images of my loved ones, be so sure they are All right? I can never be. How can they be so sure to believe I still exist for they haven't seen me .. i haven't seen them .. touched or sensed each other ... ??

I could very well be butchered to digitized image of myself, digitized voice of myself, digitized awaaz of myself, digitized intelligence... they don't really know I exist. well turn the tables around - i don't either :( :(

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Gran Torino

.. heart locked in Gran Torino
.. beats a lonely rythm all night long

i waited for the final scene and all the pieces almost suddenly came in together (not that the pieces were flying around like in Nolan's movies)

And then the song is been in auto-play mode all night long since ...

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Saapno se bhare naina ...

life and its ambitions, its pain and its charm!

song does well - mainly the picturisation - to show it all ..

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Ayodhya on facebook ..

my facebook buddies >>

*Is praying for a day when peace becomes a religion @Sneha

*1/3 for hindus , 1/3 for muslims & 1/3 for ram lalla @Thakur

*At this point I should admit I have no clue on what exactly is the Ayodhya conflict or even is this place Ayodhya. kthxbai @Annkur

*"Media" is a bigger danger to nation peace than the interested parties :) They are very worried about everybody got '1/3' :( @Adarsh

Might be they thought they also deserved a '1/3' :P

*Finally....Verdict came .... and now we have to go to office tomorrow.... :(:( @Vaibhav

I by the end of reading of it >>

we are on War alert..

  • 1,90,000 security personnel in Uttar Pradesh

  • 19 places have been identified as "sensitive."

  • Maharashtra, Kerala, Karnataka and Madhya Pradesh have been identified as trouble-prone.

  • Central forces would be 10 minutes away and on call with extensive deployment near sensitive spots.

  • India Air Force aircraft would be on standby to transport troops to eight places across the country.

  • Ban on bulk SMSes continues.

  • No pillion riders and parking not allowed near restricted sites in Delhi, Hyderabad.

  • 'am SAD!!

    Monday, August 30, 2010

    "Go for It" karne ka ya nahi?

    friend#1: Thnx tujhe kya lagta hai??profsn or no profssn
    Hehehe..y is dt srprising? gud ppl arnd probb.siliye
    10:53 PM friend#2: as in profession should turn into passion or should it be other way round? .. u askin that?
    friend#1: othr way round
    Passin in2 profession
    friend#2: i dont kno man .. i nvr had any :(
    10:54 PM i thought i did.. pan
    friend#1: Ya..dts d deal wit every1..probb nvea gave enuff thot of it
    friend#2: i 've been more a digressed al the time
    friend#1: we 4 had met aftr i wrote dis all had smthns dat dey neva gave enuff thot on it
    10:55 PM Digressd bole tho??
    friend#2: no but even if something was "in likin" tat is totally not the passion
    10:56 PM digress as in .... u kno never clear on wat i wanted.. been moving with the tide..
    friend#1: Hmm...age is catchin up buddy.
    10:57 PM friend#2: dude ...
    age se kya matlab man?
    friend#1: Hain bhai...u wnt work towards ur likin wit respo nd cmtmnts on ur head
    friend#2: arre chhod be... abhi tak kaunsa kar rahe the
    10:58 PM friend#1: followin passion is a low income thing.atleast in d ebgnn
    friend#2: with any resp and commtmnts wagarah
    oh u r not exactly talkin about "us kinds" ... toh theek hai
    10:59 PM friend#1: Exacto.ab tak nahi the,baadmein aayenge
    friend#2: yea .. followin ur passion .. i.e. u 've come to realize "this is it man" .. yea its definitely a struggle struggle struggle
    friend#1: Yup
    11:00 PM friend#2: then u dont lose sights i.e. digress nd all ... u dont see distractions... i dont really think u see money even or family even
    its totally different ball game
    friend#1: So.i presume its a no frm ur end too....
    friend#2: no for ?
    11:01 PM as in if i ve found a passion?
    friend#1: No.dt u rather nt make it a profssin
    friend#2: y not man ...
    friend#1: I duno.thot u wer cmnin to dat
    friend#2: u dont see .. once u see it .. i.e. ur passion right in front of u ..
    u make it ur profession..
    11:02 PM otherwise its not ur passion
    or u 've not found one
    r u passionate about something?
    11:03 PM passion follow karo nahi toh usko hobby kehlao :P
    friend#1: dts wt s d strings attachd to it..once u do dat,der r lotsa probs wit it
    11:05 PM friend#2: i dont kno .. my point was ... its passion only when u work towards it.. otherwise its not a passion
    11:08 PM friend#1: Ya..dts true..sxaclyy wt mah frend sed
    friend#2: so u see... so u take up the profession of ur passion or else... maaf hai tera passion :P
    friend#1: If u r passionate.ud be gud at it..u work hard.nd ud make it well
    11:09 PM friend#2: yea
    friend#1: No,..passion maaf tho nahi..jst fulfil nahi hua..
    11:10 PM friend#2: nahi maaf ho gaya ...
    friend#1: Naa...its abt luck nd opportunity too
    11:11 PM friend#2: soch na ... we only see ppl who were passionate... those who werent we dont (unless they were killed by something/someone/someplace else)
    friend#1: Oh!!...nice line..
    Bt still..disagree
    11:13 PM friend#2: hmm true.. but then u wont regret it ... i m guessin if u regret it .. it wasn really ur passion ... (now m talkin entirely takin out judgemental standards of society)
    11:14 PM u r talkin from ur phone is it? should u be going to office already???
    11:17 PM friend#1: In d bus
    friend#2: kk thot so
    friend#1: Jdgmntal stds of
    friend#2: yep :)
    11:18 PM friend#1: Dts d frst thin dt u need to dump
    11:19 PM friend#2: yeah ... but then its all easy isnt it ..
    friend#1: It wt u feel like karneka
    11:20 PM friend#2: my point is .. all those guys .. includin the gazal singers.. r noticeable cauz they passionate about their work :P
    11:22 PM friend#1: den,is he happpy??.is dt wer he wntd to be?

    5 minutes
    11:27 PM friend#2: yea tat u have to ask him .. :D
    u didn right?
    big assumption
    11:28 PM :P
    friend#1: Ya ya..big one!!
    11:31 PM friend#2: :) ... anyways i would say ... "go for it !!" anytime .. if its ur passion u ll be happy (detached from all the standards put up by society n u n me n our best friends n ur moms n ur dads n ur idol whoever)

    Friday, August 27, 2010

    being a Kashmiri..

    i wonder how it is?

    loved apart.. cared apart.. life apart.. adored apart.. killed apart.. refuged apart in your own home .. torn apart ..

    they have come out on streets now... they have come out sans AKs now .. they have come out crying now .. they have come out for no help .. no refuge .. no protection .. no jobs .. no U!

    wonder how it is?

    few links and excerpts -
    “I just stand on the street and call out for Azaadi,” says Rafiqa at the night procession in Rambagh. “And people join in.” Even at 1 a.m., more women, accompanied by infants, join the march to chant slogans.
    “Things seemed to be much worse during the years of militancy.” His reply was a revelation, like the lifting of several veils all at once: “Each time things get better,” he said, “The mind forgets how bad they can get.”
    the key point to recognise in approaching the Kashmir issue is that in this era of post-nationalism, it is possible to preserve the distinct Kashmiri cultural identity in an autonomous political framework that is not at odds with the idea of it being part of a larger Indian Union
    Kashmiriyat is a proud assertion of a unique Kashmiri cultural identity that is unabashedly pluralist in its moorings, inclusive in its orientation that embraces both Muslims and Pandits. It is as far removed from the hard-line Islamists who seek to hijack this sentiment and turn it into a movement for self-determination, as it is from the Hindu nationalists who demand Kashmir's complete integration with the Indian Union

    Tuesday, August 24, 2010


    9am got up
    10 am reached office
    12 pm had my lunch
    2pm took a small nap
    5pm left office

    i m tired !! i m so tired that even typing is most difficult job right now ! :(

    i have absolutely no clue why!!!???

    Monday, August 23, 2010

    being immortal ...

    is about being mortal 1000 times over :) ... and rest of us just keep on role playing over and over again ...

    that is what caught fancy of me in this movie. Only if they hadn't kept the ending stereotypical!!

    Friday, August 20, 2010

    You said it ...

    “What makes you think human beings are sentient and aware? There’s no evidence for it. Human beings never think for themselves, they find it too uncomfortable. For the most part, members of our species simply repeat what they are told—and become upset if they are exposed to any different view. The characteristic human trait is not awareness but conformity, and the characteristic result is religious warfare. Other animals fight for territory or food; but, uniquely in the animal kingdom, human beings fight for their ‘beliefs.’ The reason is that beliefs guide behavior, which has evolutionary importance among human beings. But at a time when our behavior may well lead us to extinction, I see no reason to assume we have any awareness at all. We are stubborn, self-destructive conformists. Any other view of our species is just a self-congratulatory delusion. Next question.”

    who said it - Malcolm's character in the book "The Lost World" Michael Crichton

    where did I pick it up from -

    Saturday, August 14, 2010

    being an Indian ...

    I have wondered.. discussed.. thought .. as in what exactly is being Indian. The chaps living on the other end of Indus river ! ? I have built my affinity to being an Indian on many grounds .. set of common prejudices .. common weaknesses.. common incapabilities.. common jugaad ideas ... common ancestors... and one big one being common raj!! ... how we have been so brought together by those folks!! Hardly we would 've recognized each other if it weren't for them ...

    So the point being I witness these Facebook videos on being an Indian .. the Great Indian Zero and Chip inventors of India etc etc... I feel sense of nothing anymore.. I just don't do ! ... its as if the whole idea of being Indian is just a farce .. how can common Bollywood or cricket or Bombay stock exchange or Nehru or Gandhi or IIT or IIM be the only elements of resultant kinship.. and the only other thing that binds us is religion and its people... so am I encompassing all the essentials building blocks of the nation state of being Indian .. or is there more to it? Why I feel like writing about it? Why does goose bumps don't feel genuine anymore? Why do I feel almost nauseated when I feel those goose bumps ...

    I know why... cauz I have been doing absolutely nothing about those goose bumps! .. its like that feeling which has made you feel nice time and again .. only now you are just so sick of its vanity!! :(

    few posts that I have been bumping into and have bumped into or have keyed in myself - all adding to farcity ...

    Update 1 -

    Monday, May 31, 2010

    nope i m not .. but seriously??

    i never knew wat this meant .. and only thing that came to my mind most was 'best blogger award' or 'best somethin else award' .. but!

    This handsome trophy is awarded to those outstanding citizens who acknowledge 6+billion humans on Earth is more than enough, and who put their money where their gonads are.

    Tuesday, May 25, 2010

    i m quitting counter-currents ...

    response to link above -
    this could be very good reason for me to quit following counter currents. Neither of the author's arguments make any sense. Only scare mongering doesn't help. If you are putting up an argument against genetic engineering of such nature, better put up good real facts instead of pointing to mythical scripts and follies. I do not disrepute Mahabharata and Ramayana, they are the greatest literature ever written. However, there is no text in it against genetic engineering. How can counter current allow such an irrational article in. Please understand even telescope once was like peeping into god's domain. So unless you have an argument which doesn't say'nope god doesn't want us to peep in to his bathroom' please stop making such remarks ...

    Friday, May 21, 2010

    biggest challenge..

    my biggest challenge is not my work against the sex traffickers but the civil society

    Sunday, May 16, 2010

    The Sound of One Hand Clapping - go figure!

    unlike other animals, humans are acutely aware of their own mortality and are terrified of death. But the study of cosmology gives us sense of timelessness, of being part of something much larger. The fact that your own personal life is finite is less frightening when you know you are part of evolving universe - an ever-unfolding drama. This is probably the closest a scientist can come to having religions experience.

    Source: Phantoms in the Brain, V.S. Ramachandran, Sandra Blakeslee link

    Wednesday, May 5, 2010

    hard times

    times hard enough to make me do nothing. I can see myself without a job in another 30 days and i am not working hard enough! ! ! and you know what .. the working hard part... towards WHAT? do I work hard? towards .net lame internship, development lil-lesser-lame internship, IT intern lamest-of-all internship, or this job which has all what i ve learnt... all wat i wish to learn .. and all i want is internship fuck do i care about converting it to full time ! !

    Thursday, April 15, 2010


    1kg boots up the fibula, another kg Skis slid in to those shoes! the first thing person learns when learning to ski is to learn to fall down cauz there is no way to learn otherwise :P

    The number of times S took that dive just to avoid hitting the person in front him (cauz he still hadn't figured out how to stop - a technique called pizza) was innumerable. It took him all super human efforts to walk- start slid - see an obstacle - determine best position to fall - make a dive - roll down- regain senses - bend your ankles - regain foot (err ski) hold ! and the multiply that with innumerable times = beaten body next day.

    And A had mastered his pizza quite well. He went through steepest the slowest. Man that was caution of the saint. This guy didn't fell down until the very last of his rides (hands down to him).

    I gave up figuring out how to get up with those skis on. I too fell down innumerable times but my process was little more longer but less painful. Take my advice always take off your skis and then get your foothold.

    Lets get to the fun part. The glide down the hill, skis on the foot, chill on your face, and inevitable fall. All bring part of excitement!! I kept falling down and all 'in deep shit' sense by end of the hill. But when I looked up again, that steep simply pulled me back to it's cliff. Kept doing it every time saying 'one very last time' :P

    I hate snow.. i love skiing .. skiing entails snow.. so I cannot hate snow anymore!! but fact remains I LOVE SKIING!!

    ... date and venue - Feb 28th, Perfect North Slopes, Lawrenceburg, IN

    Tuesday, April 13, 2010

    what do you do when?

    1. Body pushes you to sleep, but for you who keeps sayin 'no i 've no reasons to sleep yet'

    2. Education pushes you to run-in-the-mill, but for you who keeps saying 'no i've reasons not to be part of herd'

    3. Job pushes you to an oblivion, but for you who keeps saying 'no i've reasons to cry out loud'

    4. People push you to themselves, but for you who keeps saying 'no i can never ever reason with you'

    5. Life pushes you to live-it-out, but for you who keeps saying 'no i m still finding reasons'


    Tuesday, March 16, 2010

    Digged out ...

    Something I wrote way back during IPL v1.0 ... (looking back .. feel lil naive now)

    Would you ever know?

    In a grand ceremony with well wishes from every one to any one - Cricket (HE) weds Entertainment (SHE). Everyone from family to friends to 'baraati' cheer them up. They go out for honeymoon.. they both have great fun.. Explore each other like they never thought they could. The amalgamation is what the best they thought could happen to them. The amalgamation is what everyone thought best could happen to boring He and out-of-partners She. The pundits, the city mayor, the priests all are happy because they know this is the best possible solution because the followers are happy. After all, both of them have grown together… both will know each other so well … both will take care of each other like they never could of themselves…

    Then one day when the Honeymoon was over, He sees someone - hmmm is it that old buddy .. the popular the sporty the elegant ... he takes a look at his (buddy’s) hand. And immediately recognition strike. He knows who he is... he is the one who use to win all the awards in school... he is the one who use to be so popular … he is the one who... who wore 8 gold rings!!! … What... how... when did that happen????

    He doesn’t know?? He asks his wife?? She even wonders what those 8 gold rings are??? [She asks are they designed by Tanishq?] Well he doesn't know that of course neither is there anyone to tell him. Then one day looks out of window and sees a kid playing. Running getting dirty all over with no concerns with no .. with no … with no nothing… He was playing!! Simply playing!!! Oh my god when did I … its been ages when I only played… i dress prada … i drink scotch… I dance all night … but when in morning I want to play… I … I cannot… I m tired already!!!

    Then one night he knew he cannot go for the party, he lets her leave as well. He goes to the park he use to play everyday. He finds his old buddy again and realizes there and there what is needed…

    ps. Hockey has won 8 gold medals in olympics...

    Saturday, March 13, 2010

    All made sense..

    Baccano : 20 something characters. All driven by different cause-effects. Scared to hell Hero. Dumb damsel who could put anyone in distress 1

    Death Note : Lighto and L. Not the abbreviation but the fierce friends. Black and White. Checkmates.. 1

    Wake up Sid : Mumbai rains! 1

    Before Sunrise : Prelude to exciting effects... 1

    Invictus : Nelson Mandela says - "How do we inspire ourselves to greatness, when nothing less will do? How do we inspire everyone around us?" 1

    House M.D. - House might say - "How do I inspire myself to greatness, when nothing less will do? how do I ground everyone around?" 1

    The Man from Earth - A conversation with 2100 years old Yeshu... 1

    12 Angry Men - Ek ruka hua faisla ... 1

    V for Vendetta - Vendetta was never this musical... 1

    Shangrila (newer one) - Hidden heaven.. It made all sense to me... 1

    Before Sunset - day's encounter .. a feminist meets american again 1

    Queen - re-discovered it... ever heard this song? "Bicycle .. Bicycle .. I want to ride my Bicycle!"1

    John Lennon - Dreamer|Working Class Hero|Jealous Guy ... heard them before.. knew them never 1

    1 English Movies
    1 Music
    1 Books
    1 Anime TV Series
    1 TV Series
    1 Hindi Movies

    Friday, February 19, 2010

    w@king life!


    ever have caught urself in that jungle? The movie's about that. Oh my i would see this movie yet again and update a blog on it !!

    Tuesday, January 12, 2010

    check this out...

    I m luvin it!

    Sunday, January 10, 2010

    5 vs 3

    I don't get it. Why is he crying?

    AK for some weird reason acts "vocal" Chaplin. SJ does what he does least best. MD is again wasted. BI overdoes it for very first time. The jokes are pale - starting with Astronaut pens.

    What followed first? AK Preaching or the Preaching script?? I wonder!

    What followed next? Vacuum pump driven suction pipe, web-camera driven delivery, car batteries driven virus-inverter. Go figure!!

    May be one should go back to following movie for more subtle preaching! 'In which Annie gives those ones'. (due credits to Mr. D for introducing me to that movie)

    So Chetan Bhagat should essentially be happy that his 5 point someone still remains the original awe-some piece which hasn't been still put on silver screen yet!!

    and if he thinks it is ... 5 point some one ka balatkaar ho gaya!!

    Friday, January 8, 2010